I tell ya, if I could sit in my own little bubble all day, every day, I’d be painting.
I really only first picked up a paintbrush beginning last September. Before that I was what’s been called a “shadow” artist. A shadow artist is one who gravitates towards the arts, they work with artists, for artists, in the art field, but they aren’t the actual artists. I worked at my family’s art & framing business and I had a jewelry & home accessory line, but still I was afraid to pick up a paintbrush. I knew the arts felt comfortable, I knew it was where I wanted to be, but something inside me held back.
The combination of having my hands tied for 7 years raising my kids, coupled with approaching the humble old age of 40 is apparently what it took. Now with a life force of its own, I don’t want to waste another day not painting. I feel like I have 39 years on this planet to make up for. It’s so strange how literally I woke up one morning and felt this intensity, this mission. I needed to get going and get going right away. My mom calls me a “late-bloomer”.
Knowing this, you have to know it’s killing me that some of these paintings are taking three days or even more. The actual reason I ventured in to this challenge was to force myself to create more. Trust me, I’d put in 15 hours a day if I could, no problem, but that’s just not where my life is.
For instance, today my kids had no school. I woke up at 6am, logged in 3 1/2 hours of painting, left my house at 9:45, dropped the kids with a friend and then spent 2 1/2 hours shopping for my husbands grand opening for his new store. I rushed from shopping, dropped the perishables and then raced to my kid’s school for child/teacher conferences. By 2pm the kids and I got back, had a late lunch and by 4pm my in-laws came to town for my husbands celebration weekend. The boys of the family went to a boy-scout camp-out and us girls went out to dinner and a movie.
Ta-da it’s 10pm. I’m lucky I can even form a thought!
This is my very-long-winded-way of telling you, I’m doing the best I can.
SOME DAYS I’M JUST PAINTED INTO A CORNER!
Now I did enjoy myself this morning, at the crack of dawn. I swirled the paint into the background and painted in my acrylic paintings that were resting behind the flowers. I’m still LOVING this painting. But it’s moving along at a snail’s pace… it’s emerging slowly… not with the intensity and fire I feel inside.
I just have to keep reminding myself, I’m getting it done. I’ve put my money where my mouth is. I make time for art and creativity every single day. Some days more than others, but I show up every day.
That in itself is reassuring. Even today, I only had three hours available, but that’s three hours more than last year or the 38 years before that.
I talk to myself. I say “Just do your best Little Mary”. That’s all that one could expect.
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